You got what? Stuck in your where? ...wait until the batteries die, I guess.

[Vander]

I like to read about the crazy things that people have witnessed on the paintball fields...

Funny injuries to strange bachelor parties... and the ever popular "What were you thinking?"

Stories! Share! GO! takeo:)

[Badger]

I have a couple I can share...

The Pheasant
I was playing a one-on-one game against Sage down in Morristown. It was pumps only, and we headed out to an area just south of what we call "The Island" at Ahlman's land. It's got tall tan grasses growing around a grove of 15-foot tall pine trees. So, we start the game and sneak around the grass. At one point, I made a quick run to my left, watching into the trees the entire time. All of a sudden a pheasant leaps into the air batting it's wings to take flight. In the tense moment of wondering where Sage was and being covert myself, the sudden burst of freaked out pheasant scared the **** out of me. Once I realized what went on, I started laughing out loud over the moment, and continued on. Sage ended up getting a good shot on me later, the lucky b@stard! beret:)


The Fawn
We played a Jungle Rumble game out at Splat Tag. Which one, I couldn't tell you. I led a group of four kids down this slope, and we were nearing enemy territory. You could hear markers barking everywhere, tossing paint in all directions. People were yelling orders and shouting out "HIT!" everywhere else. In essence, a lot of noise. The five of us remained quiet along this gully, waiting to see if the opposition would come at us so we could snipe them out.

While waiting, we see a fawn gingerly step through the woods, as though nothing was going on. Now, on the MMPT, we have a strict rule: do NOT shoot the wildlife. This is their home, not ours. However, the four lads I had with me were not on my team, so the rule didn't necessarily apply to them.

All I could do was toss the notion out there and see what they would do with it. "Guys," I said, "if any of you shoot that fawn thinking it's funny, I'm going to shoot YOU at close range and call us all out. Understood? It's not funny to shoot him." Believe it or not, not one of them even considered shooting the deer. One kid even told me, "I'm really glad you said that. You're right, that wouldn't have been funny. My dad taught me better."

I now have a little more hope for the next generation coming of age behind us. They made me proud that day. beret:)


"Watch My Back for a Second!"

Again, we're playing down in Morristown, but this time, it was a night game. If you're familiar with our field at Ahlman's, you know about our "Island" field. It's a large hill dug out by Larry's tractor, so there is a moat created around it. Water sometimes sits in the moat, making it difficult to reach the Island except by a wooden bridge from one direction. (This is before we built a second bridge to the Island.)

Our team was on the attack side, while the other team needed to defend the Island. Throughout the night, we made several attempts to take control of that hill, but those that stay put on the Island can have a definite advantage, to say the least. At one point, I told two others, Gator and Stallion, to empty their hoppers on my signal. The idea was to keep the opposition occupied while I race across the bridge to barrel tag any of them and win the game.

When I gave the signal, they did as I needed, and made my charge. However, my CO2 tank at the time burped it's last gas out, making that universal sound. I stopped my charge just before stepping onto the bridge and told the others to cease fire. I had a small 4 oz. tank I could switch, but it would take me some time to do that.

While I'm switching tanks, one of theirs came walking up to me. (Viper) I knew Viper was on their side and if he recognized me from the light of the distant farm light that casts a glow onto the field, he could light me up. Instinctively, I made it seem as though I was on his side, and told him to hurry over to me.

"Quick, watch my back for a second, I need to swap out tanks!" I hissed. Confused, Viper did as he was told. I couldn't believe the ruse was working, and I got as far as taking the 20 oz. tank off. Thinking my lie was about to fall, I quickly swung my marker around and pointed the barrel at him.

"By the way, bang, you're dead." I said. He looked at me doubly-confused now, wondering what the heck just happened. Frustrated at his own stupidity, he began marching toward the dead pile. Laughing, I told him, "wait, take my 20 oz. tank off the field with you." He did so, and I set myself up for another charge. beret:)

Part Two of this Story

Now I'm ready for my second try. I told Gator and Stallion to do the same thing again, since no gunfire had occured during my deception with Viper. The 4 oz. tank was secured on the end of my marker and I was good to go. I gave the signal, and those two began a furious volley of paint onto the Island. I started making my charge, firing a few of my own...

And that's when it hit me.

Spider was ready for me, waiting at the entrance of the Island for anyone to cross the bridge. He nailed me square in the sack, taking all of the "wind out of my sails." I doubled over in intense pain, gurgling out something like, "I'm HIT, and so are my future kids!!" I could have fallen over the side of the bridge, but managed to keep my balance. Staggering off, I found a dejected Viper at the dead pile. He was still upset over his elimination, but I assured him that Spider got plenty of vindication for him. Within roughly 20 seconds though, I was feeling much better and ready to go back into action. beret:)

[AKA]

Self inflickted elimination

Back in the day when we played out here at my place, we were playing an elimination Game. Now we have all ages playing but mostly older kids to adults. There were about 12 or so on a side, but one side had the 3 young ones, who were about 10 and 11. Now our side had all older and larger players (luck of the draw), and we had eliminated their entire side with only losing a couple players ourselves. Now the 3 kids were not exactly newbs but had bunkered in at the same place and were the only ones left to get. We had known where they were but just waited to attack them. So we spread out and started to approach their bunker, (about 8 or 10 of us bigger dudes), when all of sudden they started shooting. None of us fired a shot but we here; "I'm Hit, I'm Hit! and we see one of them walking out with his hand and gun up. Later we found out by one of the other bunkered kids that he had shot himself in the foot on purpose rather than going up against all of us. We still tease him about it today although he still denies it.:D/AKA

[Oldest Sage]

Sage ended up getting a good shot on me later, the lucky b@stard!
Guys gotta believe what a guys gotta believe.:)

[Erndogg]

The team and I had just started getting into paintball, mostly on private land. It had rained petty good the night before, and was a bit muddy. It was a 3v3 elimination game. I was crawling up on a pile of debris that a couple of the guys like to use as a fortification. I made sure it was clear, and as I was turning I heard a few shots,and then seen them breaking on near by trees. It startled me pretty good. I turned to get an idea of where the shot come from, and fell on my ***, and slid down this muddy slope.

The family jewals werent feeling to well after hitting a rock or branch stuck in the ground. It was a long quarter mile walk back home ><

[Thalion]

Hmm.... Mustangman's Frostbuster comes to mind. Not only did I manage to slip and slide on my rear the whole way down that steep hill (was all in good fun until the groin met the tree... cen:)), there was also the part involving a certain mini van getting stuck in the mud and requiring some work to get it out...



Then there was that Fallen Eagle game, where I managed to shred those BDU pants... (from the knee down, the right pant leg was pretty much destroyed)... but we saved the president laughing:)

[DeadEye]

Hmm.... Mustangman's Frostbuster comes to mind. Not only did I manage to slip and slide on my rear the whole way down that steep hill (was all in good fun until the groin met the tree... cen:)), there was also the part involving a certain mini van getting stuck in the mud and requiring some work to get it out...



:)

The only time I ever stuck that van too...

I seem to remember doing a faceplant in the snow that day too in a running gun battle with Matt... having snow packed in yoyr nostrils is no fun either...:character0080:

[Reaper]

I was at one of Just Paintball's big games a couple of years ago and had a young 'un pinned behind a bunker. He would pop out at the top and then come out at the side and then the bottom. I was throwing paint but the little guy was just too fast for me. I finally decided to rush the bunker and surrender him. I began to lay down a hail of paint and made my move. As I approached the bunker i saw a hand come up as if to say "Hit" so I stopped firing at the bunker and told him to come out. He got up and began to walk off the field but the other two that were in the bunker with him lit me up.
Needless to say I was pretty surprised.

[Mustangman]

hey can't blame me for the snow, besides, i can't help it an old man can't keep his footing.... in the snow... against a guy running low on air... so low i had to cycle the cyclone by hand.... the WB should send some more guys down to play, now that i actually have a team to play against you guys.... might present me more of a challenge.:D jk, it was a blast having you guys down here hope to see you at ST a couple of times this yr.

[DeadEye]

hey can't blame me for the snow, besides, i can't help it an old man can't keep his footing.... in the snow... against a guy running low on air... so low i had to cycle the cyclone by hand.... the WB should send some more guys down to play, now that i actually have a team to play against you guys.... might present me more of a challenge.:D jk, it was a blast having you guys down here hope to see you at ST a couple of times this yr.

You just wait... I just got my Rascal all camo'd out and fit with a snow mobile tread... if I can't hit ya, I'll run ya over!laughing:)

Seriously though, I'd invite you up to GF to play paintball, but there seems to be a serious lack of it up here.

[Mustangman]

DE,just make sure your batteries are all charged up:D. don't worry, we'll be making at leats 2 trips to ST this year. HFTC and the Battle for Serenity Valley game

[Vander]

I like the stories so far, guys... I laughed so hard I pooped a little. laughing:)

No Sympathy
This one is about a man and a tower.

A Konoha Team Scrimmage... no refs.

We had a guy so into the game he didn't realize that he was shooting close to the edge on the top of a tower (about 5 feet up... not too bad).

He was blasting away, laying down paint everywhere; he fell straight off the back of the tower and bounced on his back in the dirt and grass. The funny part to me was that half of us were worried while the other half shot at him still (were all good friends...ha-ha).

The scene that got me the most was as his head raised slowly from the ground (looking all pathetic) he took a shot right on the goggles....blap!

He just plopped his head down and laid there laughing (and swearing).

He still loves us (no idea why).

[Bizzare87]

I was playing in a private group at the former alamo location and I was running through the woods.I tripped and got impaled by a stick in my big fat butt.I have a scar to prove it but no one has dared ask.

[Nascarfan1026]

You know this story doesn't compare to your guys, but I felt it was worth mentioning. Me and my son are really new to paintball, and everyone, everywhere has really made us feel welcomed, and treates us so well no matter where we go! That being said, my son whom is 13, has really been on a big ego trip, and we were playing speedball a couple of weeks ago, and he shot off his mouth about taking on everyone. That's right him against everyone, I just laughed and shook my head! I have to admit he has got some big cahoonas, but he did it, and they really lit him up good! I chose not to play because of an injury but I sure wished I would have been there to help them.

[Podoz1]

My dad taught me better."

I now have a little more hope for the next generation coming of age behind us. They made me proud that day. beret:)


Well you got to think if the dad let them play he has to be a little decent.

Also Thalion what aobut the time you found a bear trap at GBGXII??

Also here is a funny thing I was involed in during Resident Evil (copy from MNrat post)
It was after Hive was taken over by the humans so they were milling around figuring out what they should do. Well Jared, Travis and I were talking about what we had seen during the assualt and a kid (not exactly a newb) about 13 maybe 14yr kid walks up to us and asks,"if I shot my self do I become a zombie?" of course we could hardly keep from laugh at that but we said sure so the kid yells at his friend that they can so he walks away. He comes back about 30sec later and ask if taylor would shoot him. So taylor takes the marker (now note this is all the kid's idea), he asks us were to aim, and being the loving kind of guys we said the neck. The kid gets down on his knees with his back to us and puts his hands on his head. Taylor shoots once it just misses his neck so the taylor fires again *bang* right in the neck. THe kid gets up says"thanks" and takes his armband off and goes over and shoots his friend. Well there just about to walk away when these guys, who apparently watched the whole thing unfold, walk out and say, "Ow, so your zombies now" The 2 kids bolt off with paint flying right behind them. It was the funniest thing I had ever seen involving pb.

Later about 2min after this they come back and talk their friends (I guess) left in the fort and actually capture it.

[Thalion]

Also Thalion what aobut the time you found a bear trap at GBGXII??



That was farm equipment, not a bear trap.

[Podoz1]

So you still slide into it.

[badmoon]

i was playing on the maze at splat tag we where in the warfare fort, and a guy from the **** burnes shot a quail in the head. after i yelled at him we arnt alowed to shoot the wildlife i decided to go see if it was ok. to my amazement he was dazed but fine. i started takeing fire and decided i needed to rescue it. i ran out under fire scoped him up shot out 2 players that where giveing me a h*ll of a time getting to him and brought him back to the tower stuck him in finnished the game and declared him my mascot for the day. very crazy very true right c-4

[Thalion]

I recall that story, although I didn't witness it.

Since you mentioned quail, it wasn't just paintballers that were looking for quail one day...

No, the hunters didn't wind up on the field, and no, nobody shot them and they didn't shoot any of us.

[Podoz1]

That reminds me of the first time I went to Splat tag. I went with my youth group for the secound time ever 10/29/05 (if I recall correctly). When we got out of the van 2 hunters where in the the north grass field. So thy were right smack dab in the middle of the everyone parking. It was kind of scary having the feeling that you could be hit with bird shot at any moment.

[twitch515]

How about the STARS team in the Resident Evil Game day two??? We finished all the objectives within 2/3s of the game. Haha they couldnt think of anything left for us to do, it was hilarious!

[badmoon]

heres a good one about me it was my second game at splat tag ever and me and my freind mike showed up and gess what full auto day i was on top of the hill and we where waching the lima side. and geuss who decided to creep up on us 2 but wild bunch and full auto from like 9 guys came screaming out of the woods on us we took off towards the valley and geuss who desided to find a 2 inch tall stump with his toes at a dead sprint. me. i flew 2 feet in the air towards a tree and wham mike said the treee bowed like 2 feet and it had to be a 7 inch diamiter. and i still maneged to hold on to my gun. i still have the scars on my right arm from hittin the tree held the gun in my left.

[MayhemBrando]

I was back at the tent podding up and grabbing a bite to eat and quick drink. I reinserted as zombie at the Rebels base. This was like around 10 or so in the morning well I remember it being early in the day anyways.
So I ran back to my boys who were on top of the ridge I think its called the valley. ( Hilly area with no brush all trees) Well they were in a shnit storm like always and I had my Done 4 in had and started making the rain come down.
Well I started smoking through my hopper and about 3/4 done with it and my dm stopped firing. I got really upset cuz I was using the v35 which had given me problems since I bought the thing.
Turned it off turned it on, dumped all the paint out cuz I figured I broke a ball, and or my hopper was broke but it was spotless I coulnd't figure out why my gun wasn't working.
I got so pissed I ripped the Halo off the gun, below and hold there was a Starburst wrapper stuck in the feedneck holding back my bolt. I still get **** from my guys to this day about that. I have never bought starbursts as a snack since then to bring with...

[Ghostwolf]

The scene: The Commander of the team I play for has a nice little piece of property out on the edge of town we call Cheeseburger Hill (like Hamburger Hill of VietNam fame, but most of our team works in a cream cheese factory, thus, CBH). We used to play there in the days before we got sponsored by JungleCat. It's not as steep as some of the terrain at ST, but steep enough, to be sure.

Along the top ridge of the hill is a well built line of defenses patterned after the Maginot Line in France. Downhill from this is a completely cleared "kill zone" about 100 ft wide and a good 60 feet from top to bottom. Below that is light woods, then another defensive line before the woods thicken up....

The main subject of the story: My good friend Ian (God rest his soul) was one of the nicest guys you ever met, but he was also a hardcore drunk. He never drank on "gameday", but he was usually still drunk from the night before when we dragged him out of bed and out to the field. It still amazes me how well he could play while he was still "half in the tank"!

The incident: So there we are, about 20 of us, playing "the Assault on Cheeseburger Hill". Ian is anchoring the middle of the Maginot Line above the steepest section of the Hill. Things have drawn to a stalemate for about twenty minutes when Ian decides to go all Rambo and charges down the hill towards a small bunker at the edge of the tree line. Imaging the following in slow motion, because that's how all of us who were there seem to remember it...

Ian gets about halfway down the Kill Zone when a couple of the Assault team members open up on him. Ian attempts to "do the monster dance", which is our way of saying he tried to dodge the incoming fire, Matrix-style, however, speed, gravity and the after effects of too much Jamison single malt whiskey from the night before take effect. Ian "face-plants' hard, then does an endo, back to a face plant, to an endo, to a face plant, and back to an endo. That's three complete revolutions, for those of you who lost count.

Miraculously, his final revolution brings him up on his feet in perfect stride, now moving at sub-warp speed! The assault team takes note of the fact that he hasn't called himself out yet and proceeds to stitch him mercilessly! Without a single hitch, he calls himself out, merges onto the main trail in front of the lower defensive line (the Ho Chi Minh Trail, as it's known to us) and boones strait away out to the "dead zone" off the side of the field.

Everyone else began laughing so hard that we had to call off the battle! To this day, I've never seen anything like it on a paintball field.

GW

[DaveJ]

Just a quick funny story from one of the Hunt for the Cure games a couple years back.

So it's about mid day, and things had slowed down a little, with everyone really spread out. I'm walking down a trail and I spot someone hiding behind a tree about 40ft father down the trail. He spots me and fires a few shots, totally missing. I step behind cover and trade a few shots. Just then another player on my team comes down the trail. Honest to God, we have the following conversation...

Me: Hey look out, there's someone behind a tree up there.
Him: Which tree? I can't see him.
Me: That big tree about 40ft up.
Him: Where? There's no one there.
Me: That big oak with the log in front of it.
Him: Which tree?
Me: This one (fires a few shots at the tree)
Him: Here? (fires at the completely wrong tree)
(guy behind tree fires at us)
Me: Right there! He's shooting at us!
Him: Where is here? Which tree?
(I top off my hopper, and walk the trigger on my Viking, emptying an entire hopper of Evil on the tree, pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop)
Me: The YELLOW tree.
Him: Oh! THAT tree.

[MMPTgoblin]

Me: Hey look out, there's someone behind a tree up there.


Honestly that kinda stuff happens alot. "that tree" is a lil to general when you are looking at a whole forest. LOL im guilty of it also:rolleyes:

[C4 Explosives]

i was playing on the maze at splat tag we where in the warfare fort, and a guy from the **** burnes shot a quail in the head. after i yelled at him we arnt alowed to shoot the wildlife i decided to go see if it was ok. to my amazement he was dazed but fine. i started takeing fire and decided i needed to rescue it. i ran out under fire scoped him up shot out 2 players that where giveing me a h*ll of a time getting to him and brought him back to the tower stuck him in finnished the game and declared him my mascot for the day. very crazy very true right c-4


Haha we still tell that one to people, all true, that was a huge fire fight and that thing was just standing around pecking the ground in the middle of it. I was Slumlord (Kelly) not me that shot it, for the record.

I got a Nate story though, Fall '06, Valley. Nate was reffing all day and we had a lot of walk-on noobs that were bonus balling, line jumping, and shooting refs every game. At the start of a valley game Nate pulls out a pistol, warns anyone that if they don't listen up they're getting popped. So 10 minutes later we're pinned down on top of the hill with the big tree and the trail that leads to the back fort. There's no possible way to get up to that thing it had about 6 noobs inside raining paint, no cover. Then I spot a pile of plywood at the low point of the trail so I drop gear and bolt down to it to set it up for the rest of our guys to move in (with my gear). I make it half way, start taking fire and jook right and drop behind a fallen log, just big enough to not get hit, but they had a direct LoF on it. One of the noobs yells for a paint check so Nate runs up and was like WTF happend to your gear?! Between me telling him I had to get the hell outta there and him pulling out the pistol i'm not sure really what set him off, but he started unloading on the fort and I took the opportunity and got back to my gear, was sweet thanks dude.

Jungle Rumble '06, the round starts and I sprint too far forward too soon across the tower field, up over the ridge and land in a valley, it's like August so it's dense, but I can see the trail heading up on the right side of valley, probly 12 guys, all I can see from my cover are knee caps, ones with out pads. I drop a few in a quick burst, and then the whole squad starts dumping paint. Being on a downward incline in a valley I couldn't go prone to dodge it so I fell back on my back and ripped a whole hopper back. This went on for a good 5 minutes until they stopped and I heard one of'em say "Hey dude use the smoke!", and I yell out YEAH, USE THE SMOKE! I hear them pop it, I see it incoming, hits a branch above me and lands right in my lap, I take a huge breath, set it on the ground and sat in it for about 30secs then lobbed that mother right back and booked back up to Tower. Why you would use smoke in dense cover on one dude with little ground to cover is just lame heh.

Halloween Game '07, lighting up a dude in a cow costume in open cover at 10 yards, MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Where else would you get that kinda opportunity?

[Podoz1]

Between me telling him I had to get the hell outta there and him pulling out the pistol i'm not sure really what set him off, but he started unloading on the fort and I took the opportunity and got back to my gear, was sweet thanks dude.


I'm guessing this is when he was a ref still. And from experience I think what set him was probally a could shots to the head and sides while checking you.

TO make this legit.

Setting:
I was playing at special forces ravine/stream field started on the north side; this is with my youth group and a few reg players (friends of some of the guys). ALso it had been raining almost the entire past week so it was mostly flooded fields and mud everywhere else.

Plan:
I decided to make a run for the opposite end by booking it down to the stream (pretty) and jumping it and climbing the hill and surprising everyone on the other side. Remember that was the plan.

What really happened.
SO the ref calls go. and i sprint as fast as I can to the stream jump... don't make the full jump and decide the use the stream bed (this is where it starts to go down hill). My foot hits the mud which I was planning on being some what firm it wasn't. Mind you I did this with my E-frame TL-X so i don't want it to get wet. Now my foot sinks into the mud and I do a face plant in to the slope. Not I'm not in the best situation: Playing noobs who shoot on sight, I have a e-marker which I don't need to get wet and the slope is all wet leaves and mud so no grip and my right foot is in about a 1 1/2ft of water mud. Luckally I was smart enough to change where I was going to jump next to a fallen tree so i use that to get up and I climb up about half of the slope and come across 3 of the opposing side I try shooting them but I can't get a straight shot off (bad bore match and i don't have the $$ for a kit). I get my whole left side (arm, torso and leg) lit up by bounces so I was like, "screw this" and I run down the hill and re jump the stream and continue to play.

[C4 Explosives]

my right foot is in about a 1 1/2ft of water mud.

I feel your pain dude, the same thing happend to me last year at a Painbtall BBQ in Wisconsin. Since it was a BBQ I wasn't wearing all my woodsball gear and had my street shoes on, lost one in a muddy creek bed I was trying to sprint down. I got about 10' before I realized I lost it and went back under fire and pried it outta the mud haha.

It's my jungle boots from now on...